I’m not a very supernatural sort of person, but I think I saw an angel this Sunday.

The day had been a little stressful, as many of my days are now. We went to church and after lunch, I tried to install the cloth diaper toilet sprayer attachment to my toilet. I am using cloth diapers now and this little gem of an appliance allows you to spray the poop off of the diapers and into the toilet before they go into the wash.

I decided to install it Sunday, when I should have been taking a nap, because I was sick of spraying the poop off into the sink and Chris was home so he could help me. The instructions made it all seem easy enough, but I was not strong enough to unscrew the connector hose. That’s what I needed him for. Then Eloise started to cry and wanted to eat. So I was feeding her and Chris was trying to unscrew the connector hose. I could tell it wasn’t going too well because every so often I would hear something being thrown from the bathroom into the hallway, or the occasional choice word. Eloise was still eating, so I hoisted her up, still attached, and waddled down the hall to check on things. There was water everywhere, towels on top of the water, the flower arrangement that sits on our toilet thrown out into the hallway, and the toilet seat somehow ripped off and on the floor, with Chris bent over sideways tugging on something and growling. I, with a baby attached to my boob, waddled back down the hallway and into the kitchen to avoid the mass pandimonium that was going on. It was at that moment I stepped in a large steamy dog poop that my dog had just laid on our rug, because she had earlier gotten into the trashcan and eaten its contents.

Chris admitted defeat, so I traded him Eloise for a pair of pliers and went in and tried to fix it myself. I was actually able to install everything okay, and cleaned up the mess of towels and tossed arrangement and cooking pots (not real sure why there was a cooking pot in the bathroom but whatever). I turned it on to test it, thinking I had finally made it into the clear, and that is when the connector hose from the wall to the toilet started spewing water. It had gotten broken in the calamity that preceded. And that is when I started spewing water. I cried because I was sick of poop and broken toilets. So I removed the broken part and went to Lowes to replace it, sulking the whole way.

I got the replacement part, and looked around at all the happy home improvers- families with carts full of flowers and barbecue grills, an elderly couple browsing the paint aisle hand in hand, and a cherub cheeked little baby laughing with his mom has they selected lightbulbs. I looked down at myself and saw breastmilk stains, poop on my shoe, and the mangled toilet part in my hand. All I could think was “My life sucks.” “Nobody can help me”. “I’m all alone”. Boo boo boo…

And that is when I saw the angel.

I was standing in the checkout line closest to both the front door and the exit door, moping and staring out the front door. In walks a sort of old black lady in a leopard print shrit with the craziest hair and makeup I had ever seen. I was totally staring at her just because she looked so interesting. Then she turned toward me, and I saw that she had only one arm, like the Venus DeMilo. Here’s an artist rendering of what she looked like:

I watched her walk into the store and turn and walk straight toward me. I stopped staring at her when I realized that she looking right at me and was walking in my direction.

“I’m such a turd”, I thought to myself. “Here I am feeling sorry for myself, when this lady clearly used to be a backup dancer for the artist formerly known as Prince and all of that got messed up when she lost an arm. I really am selfish. My life is not really that bad at all.”

The next thing I know, the lady was standing right me behind me in line. A little freaked out, I turned ever so slightly to see what she was buying. She didn’t have anything in her hand. She stood there for what seemed like minutes, but was in all likelihood about 5 seconds. I turned and faced the front so I wouldn’t show the look of confusion on my face. Then, just like that, I saw her walk past me and out the door into the sunshine. She didn’t buy anything. She didn’t shop for anything. She just walked in, stood behind me, and walked out.

Now don’t blow this for me if the lady pictured above happens to be a relative of yours, or you see her working the polls on voting day or something like that. She may be real, and she may just be crazy enough to stand in line for a few minutes at Lowes for no reason at all. But I am going to choose to believe that she was an angel that God sent to me to get me out of my funk and to think about someone other than myself for just a second. It didn’t occur to me until a few days later that she could have been an angel in the first place. I guess I would have expected an angel encounter to include harps, wings and bright lights. I never would have expected Wet N’ Wild Green Eyeshadow and  a missing appendage. But what should I expect? When God Himself came to earth, He came as an ugly carpenter to the Middle East. Why wouldn’t He send one of His messengers as a former back-up dancer in Lowes? He’s not flashy like that.

And now, when I am temped to feel sorry for myself, I think of my one-armed angel and celebrate the fact that I am not alone. People do love me. God loves me. And my toilet sprayer works great. Now if I could just get everyone to stop pooping, I’d be in business.